Poverty in the Present

In a book about a women’s experience traveling through India, I read that, “Loving India means accepting both her good and bad. I spent most of my time there vacillating wildly between romanticizing and criticizing the country…either view is valid yet incomplete without the other.” In reflecting on this I realized that I have conveyed many of the beautiful and amazing aspects of India while leaving out a lot of the destitute and undesirable parts. In an effort to give an accurate picture of my experience in the country, I feel it is necessary to augment what I have shared previously with the other side that may not be as heartwarming to read but in the same respect equally as important to understand.

The poverty in India is vast and incredibly heartbreaking. The way it harshly hits you in the face in the larger cities as compared to the rural areas makes it difficult to turn away from the sorrow that people endure. The ‘slums’ as they call the very poor, dilapidated areas in the big cities, although can be full of life with children playing a game of cricket with a piece of wood and stone and adults gambling with pebbles to pass the time, the conditions are beyond poor. The houses are constructed of cardboard and scraps, tightly packed side by side along the banks of a river contaminated with garbage, human waste, dirty animals and filth. The saddest part is that you know this river is their only source of water which they must use for bathing, washing and drinking.

A unique characteristic of the urban slums of India as compared to other developing countries such as South Africa, is they are not hidden or tucked away. Any visitor, whether they want to or not, catches a glimpse into the tough existence of slum dwellers. Simply riding in a rickshaw from one side of the city to the other you are guaranteed an intimate look at the reality of life in the slums since the homes (if you can even call them that) face the road and people are often spilling out into the streets. During this drive such sights as people defecating on the side of the street, unclothed children with a heavy film of dirt on their skin, cows and goats roaming between the narrow alleyways and void lots filled only of garbage and waste can be seen for miles.

A complicated aspect of urban poverty is those who migrate often see the city as a place of opportunity, leaving the life in their villages where they have a sense of community behind for the dream of ‘making it big.’ Once they settle in the city they realize that their perception of what would be is not only false but by moving away they have also lost that sense of belonging that was a source of comfort in the villages. As someone described urban poverty is not only being poor but a ‘poverty of spirit.’

Even more disturbing than the conditions of the slums are the beggars on the streets. Before coming to India, I had learned a little about the ethical issues involved in giving money to beggars as it perpetuates the industry of panhandling as a lucrative way to earn money and as a result poor people, particularly children and the disabled, are exploited (similar to the storyline in Slumdog Millionaire). When I learned of the ethics surrounding this, I decided to not give to beggars in India in an attempt to avoid contributing to this social ill as well as to erase the stereotype that westerners are the source of this issue since they are often the ones giving money. For awhile I was really sticking to this and found myself being able to turn away when I saw such things as a naked man hobbling in the streets, an old women with no limbs, a young girl walking on her hands and knees to get around, a blind lady without any fingers or toes, or thin, frail unclothed children…the list goes on and on. There is no way to even describe how disturbing each and every one of these images is each time you encounter it and to even go into thinking about the story behind each persons’ misery is just too much to handle. As a result of being overwhelmed in the face of these sights and my new moral commitment to not give to beggars, I found myself turning away, normalizing this poverty and just telling myself that there is nothing I can do therefore it is acceptable to ignore it.

On a trip to Mumbai this past weekend, to get these disturbing images out of my head, me and one of my friends decided to do something very ‘posh’ and have brunch at the Taj café (the Taj is the most luxurious hotel in the city and also the site of the Mumbai shooting attacks last year). We are both doing our internships with microcredit institutions that serve the poor, she in Mumbai the big city and myself in a smaller village. As we sat across the table from each other, without words we both sensed the pangs of guilt that consumed us as we devoured our brunch buffet, while sitting in our comfy corner booth and watching from the window the vendors outside on the side of the street, sweating feverishly to make in one month what we would spend on that meal. To ease our own discomfort we subtly convinced ourselves that we should not feel bad about our indulgence but that we deserved it and were rightfully treating ourselves therefore validating the privilege we enjoyed.

In looking back on this I realized that much of our justifications were similar to how the caste system works in India, or in any country for that matter. Caste diminishes an individual’s destiny down to karma and their rightful place in the world; justice and equality are unrealistic and improbable concepts within this system. While in the village one woman said, “the issue is that in order for someone here to be rich, somebody else has to be poor.” Later, my co-worker asked me what I thought of this statement and I struggled within myself before answering. I didn’t want to believe and accept that as the truth yet at the same time, I knew deep down that the way our world, particularly capitalist societies are structured, this very well is the case. So although there was a bit of truth to our rationale around having a lavish meal…I still felt unsettled.

As the day continued, my friend and I were walking through a maze of market stands, tourist attractions, slum housing and throngs of people when in the middle of all this chaos we stumbled upon a temple. Although we had an itinerary of things we wanted to do in a limited timeframe I asked my friend, ‘Do you want to go in?’ She agreed and we timidly entered the temple, very aware of our lack of belonging that made us blatantly noticeable. We received many stares and looks questioning why we were there yet were so accustomed to this feeling of being on display that we willingly accepted it for what we were experiencing in return; a part of India that we had yet to see-people worshiping in a beautiful Hindu temple. As we were heading out, we passed by a group of 20 women, sitting cross legged in two long lines facing each other, chanting in tune while playing their tambourines carefully choreographed to the melody of the song. I was mesmerized and I am sure the women could see the excitement on my face so they kindly gestured for us to sit down and join the group. I was so touched by the groups willingness to include us in their ceremony despite us being there as spectators. As we sat down, the only way I can think of to capture the feeling of being a part of this group is magical and invigorating. The women were singing, clapping and very obviously so spiritually involved in their chanting. I was so happy that I just wanted to capture and bottle that moment up and initially, all I kept thinking about was how I could do so. I thought about taking a picture but knew it would be inappropriate, then I thought about how I could describe it to others and after a few minutes of my mind racing, I literally closed my eyes, took a deep breath and was just present, there, among the 20 women. I didn’t think about what I did the day before or what I was going to do after I left… all of a sudden, it really didn’t matter. All that mattered was that moment and allowing myself to be so fully engaged in what was in front of me that the outside world didn’t matter. Suddenly, the heat, dirtiness and poverty that characterized Mumbai felt miles away. Through the women’s commitment to their chanting and my own ability to let myself go, I allowed myself to be free and embrace the gift that was brought about by our spontaneity and opportunity to step into this unfamiliar sanctuary.

After this incredible experience, my friend and I did some more sightseeing in Mumbai and then rode the train home. While we were in the train station we went to use the restroom which you have to pay a minimal fee for. I paid the guard at the door for me and my friend to use the facilities and waited outside for her. As I was waiting, a little girl about 6 years old with matted hair came up to me. I looked over and I saw that she was with her mother and 3 younger siblings who were completely unclothed and obviously living at the train station. She started talking to me and I gave her a smile and looked away (I have found that sometimes not knowing the language is very convenient). My friend came out and I went in and used the bathroom. As I was coming out the guard at the door had changed and started yelling at me that I didn’t pay. I tried to explain to her that I paid before but in this case, my lack of communication skills was a hindrance and I felt powerless. The mother of the little girl then turned to the guard and said, I saw her pay before she went in, and the guard nodded her head and said go. Without even realizing exactly how or why, this feeling came over me and I asked the little girl if she was hungry. She nodded yes and before I knew it I was at the closest fast food stand ordering several of the most filling items I could find on the menu. The little girl was at my side the whole time, wide-eyed in anticipation of what I was going to get for her. I handed her the bag of food and walked away without returning to the family; I didn’t want to put them in a position of having to say thank you or feel indebted in any way.

As I left I questioned my actions: Did I do this because she did something for me? Did I do it to feel good about myself and ease the guilt of my expensive brunch? Was I picking who was ‘deserving’ of the poor to give too? Why them and not the hundreds of other people I have seen on the streets since I have been in India? What difference did this meal really make if there are still millions of hungry people? I thought deeply about this the whole train ride home and although I still do not have an answer, I reconciled that although I don’t know if I did the right thing or the reasons behind why I gave in that time as compared to others, when people are in survival mode, these things are irrelevant. The family had a warm meal and would sleep with food in their stomachs that night; outside of all the moral dilemmas I was having in my head, I decided that for them, the mother and her children sitting in the train station, ultimately, that was the bottom line. Poverty would not be alleviated on a large scale as a result of my giving one meal to one family but in the end it was just that…one meal for one family.

As a result of this, I broke the prior commitment to myself to not give to beggars and internally decided that I would give what I could when I was compelled too. Although this is a bit arbitrary and I recognize it doesn’t really follow any logic, I decided that instead of clinging onto my ethical convictions as a security blanket in dealing with poverty, I would allow myself to act on emotion in the present moment. In thinking about my struggle I also realized that I was stuck between the familiar debate of ‘right and wrong’ and was using my education and theoretical approaches to judge a situation that quite possible doesn’t have a black or white answer or solution. Because India is such a complex country I don’t think there is ever a right or a wrong response but instead a variety of options that lie in the middle that must be navigated with each unique situation. To take a hard line approach can also be an easy way out and an excuse to ignore what you see. Although the luxury to choose when and when not to give is still a complete exercise of my privilege, the only solution I could find to my internal battle is letting myself feel a small fraction of the pain and then start thinking a little more with my heart instead of my head.

Leaving the array of complex emotions behind in Mumbai, I set out for a long and draining journey home. Each time I take a trip I have this moment of panic, wondering if I will actually make it home and to be quite honest, it is only thanks to the graces of the kind people I meet that I actually do. After transferring buses twice, on the last leg of my journey as I was sitting on the stuffy bus trying to make myself as small and compact as possible in order to make room for the extra 45 people crammed on the bus past capacity, I put my headphones on and created a space for myself to retrieve into my bubble. I used my ‘American’ music to tune out all of the noises on the bus and escape back to my ‘normal’ life. As I did so, I questioned why I left this life for the crazy chaos of India. All I longed for was some space: to not feel others sweat on my body, my toes being stepped on, constantly stared at as if I was an alien, pushed, crammed and at the mercy of other people. As I was sitting there in my own world, it occurred to me that in an attempt to ease my own discomfort, I was actually drowning out feeling anything. At that moment, I thought back to my experience in the temple and I took my headphones off and was just present. I felt 10 sweaty bodies pushing up against me, the smell of body odor and chewed paan (this weird horribly smelly chewing tobacco that is everywhere in India), the cool breeze and rain coming in through the window of the bus, the loud chattering of people that in my perception sounded like fighting, an old women making a seat out of a bag of rice in front of my feet talking to me in Marathi, ignoring the fact that I have absolutely no idea what she is saying, and the young girl sitting next to me who gives me a gentle smile indicating our shared commissary as she taps the guy leaning on me from the aisle and tells him to move over in a protective attempt to make the trip a little more bearable for me. It was then that I realized that it is not only in the pleasant times that I should be completely present but to really experience India, I need to resist finding a way to always ease my discomfort, as I so often have the luxury of doing in the U.S. and instead let myself feel everything that is around me, even if it is undesirable. Not having the space that we are so accustomed to in the west is part of what sets India apart and although it is annoying and unbearable at times, this lack of space is also what has allowed me to have the incredible connections with people that I do and experience something that is so different from the reality I live in the U.S.

In reflecting on this mix of emotions and experiences, I have come to see that although I don’t have most of the answers, I am at least starting to ask myself the questions which has pushed me to be just as ‘present’ for the joy and happiness as I am for as the hardships and sorrow.

More reflections on my time in the village

***Below have included a few more of my thoughts (with pictures) about my experience in the village. I know it can be overwhelming to read so I subtitled it so you can pick the topics you are interested in.


An American in Rural India
In addition to the wonderful relationship I built with my host family, I also was able to connect with many other families in the village. My presence in the village was a bit of a spectacle. Everywhere I would go people would come peek their head out of their windows and stare and my host would say something in which the only thing I would understand is “America.” Children, adults, and elders would all crowd around me and practice the few sentences in English that they knew and then ask me questions like “What is your house like in America?” “Do you have a car?” “What does your father do?” (BTW, news was going around the village that my father is an engineer) “What is your father’s salary in the U.S.?” “What does American $ look like?” “What do you eat?” (This was also a very hot topic; every person I met wanted to know what type of food we eat in the U.S.) “What kind of clothes do you wear there?” “Your mom doesn’t wear a sari?” (This was really surprising to many people as well). At one point I was taking a picture of one of the bullet carts that are used for farming and the next day we were walking through the village and my host father told me “See, they are washing the cart so you can sit in it and take a picture.” Everyone in the village wanted to host me in one way or another and this mostly involved an offering of food. As I was saying goodbye and leaving the village, several families were disappointed that I didn’t come to eat dinner with them or have chai. Of course I had to promise I would come next time.

In light of these experiences, I realized that the way Indians, particularly those in the village, relate and share food was not only so wonderful but also very familiar because of how Persians also put a lot of emphasis on food. The way we show our love and caring to our guests through food was the same in this village.

It would be so easy to walk into this village and just see poverty and people living without things we consider necessities but when you really spend time in the rural areas you realize how much they have that we are missing in our lives. As I was doing my rounds through the village I would momentarily start to feel really sad about the poverty and how little they have but just as this thought would cross my mind, something would happen that reminded me about the richness they have that is probably something few of us will ever have in our entire lifetime. I know this may sound really cliché but it’s the only way I can think of to describe it.

Gender in India
During my time in the village, I had the opportunity to see so many different houses and families in the village from the very poor and dilapidated to the more spacious housing that belonged to those who are landowners. Since 80% of India is rural, agriculture and farmland is HUGE and those who own land often have more sustainable lifestyles and are considered wealthier as compared to those who don’t. Through my interviews with woman in the village I discovered that the loans taken from the self-help groups often help woman contribute to their husbands’ businesses or agricultural work which can be a significant form of empowerment, particularly in the village setting where women’s roles are very rigid and they are thought of as only doing housework and childrearing. Given this confinement, it was so amazing as well as a little disheartening to witness how hard these woman work on a daily basis. Women make up a huge segment of the manual labor force in the farmlands and work alongside men for 12 hours a day without any breaks. I visited a potato sowing field and as I was watching the process I noticed that the women’s responsibilities are the hardest part of the labor; bending down to sow the seeds of the potatoes while the men sprinkle fertilizer or ride on the bullet carts (see picture). On top of this, after their day of work is complete they go home to tend to their families and responsibilities at home, prepare food and do washing. In an interview with one of the farm laborers, I asked her if they ever switched duties in the farm and she laughed and said “No way, the men would never do this work. This is just the way it is. This is their work and this is ours.” The interesting thing about this interview was that although this woman accepted her position and duties in the field, she was very aware of the unequal division of labor and that the women carry much of the burden of the work.

Another example of the perseverance of women in this village is my host mother who wakes up at 6:00 am every morning to make breakfast and lunch for her family, boil the water for baths, and clean the house (which is more just like a concrete room-here the kitchen, living room, and bedroom are all shared in a single space often among 10-20 people). After she completes these tasks she goes to the local elementary school and makes food from scratch for 130 elementary school students in a HUGE caldron over an open fire. I went with her one day to watch the process (and I learned how to cook an Indian dish) and could not believe how much time it takes and the effort that goes into this. She has to carry the rice and vegetables from where they are stored to the cooking area, start a fire which involves lots of smoke that burns your eyes and gets into your lungs that she must breathe in for the whole two hours it takes to make the meal, fry the vegetables, wash and clean the rice three times, and then cook all the food. Following this, she comes home and prepares lunch for her family then goes back to school to wash the dishes and huge caldron from the lunch for the children. After this she goes back home to tend to her family and make dinner as well as get things in order for the next day. The most mind blowing part is that she does all of this for 100 rupees in salary-that is $2 a month (50 of these rupees goes directly to her contribution to the self-help group for microloans). I was absolutely shocked when I heard this. And in between all this work she finds time to be the president of her SHG group as well as attend federation meetings and be a leader in her community.

I can’t even express how touched and inspired I felt after seeing the hard work and strong spirit of the woman in this village. I keep getting emails from people back home about how they are so proud of me and how strong I am but when I go see what the woman here are capable of and how hardworking, brave and motivated they are, my plight seems so little. These are the real woman we should be admiring.

Indian Marriage
Another gender issue that I became aware of during my visit in this village involves Indian marriages. Here girls get married at the age of 17 or 18 (men at 24 or 25) and I was told 90% of marriages are arranged; love marriages are very rare (yet at the same time this varies because I have met many friends who have had love marriages). People in the village were very surprised that in the US our parents don’t arrange our marriages. The concept of marriage and family is thought about so differently in India. In the U.S. it I very much about the individual and what makes you as a person happy. In India I have found that there is much more emphasis on the group and how you can benefit and contribute to the collective well-being of the family (which is possibly why the SGH/microloan concept is so successful here). I think this ideology is the basis of the arranged marriages here and why there is so much insistence on within caste marriage (caste is a whole other topic in and of itself that I will hopefully go into in another blog but it is very complex, rigid and hard to understand system).

An aspect of Indian marriages that I was very unaware of prior to my visit was the actual issues involved in the courtship and marriage ceremony. Although Indian marriages are so elaborately celebrated, beautiful and commence the joining of two families, they are also ridden with their own set of social problems. I visited a family who was so proud that their daughter married an engineer last month and they even showed me a professional video of their daughter’s wedding (weddings are lovingly referred to as 'shadi') with over 1000 in attendance (YES 1000). As I was sitting there in a small home that over 20 people shared and their income is probably $100/month total for all the members, I learned that they spent almost $4000 on their daughter’s wedding. I think from our perspectives we look at Indians weddings as so fun and beautiful (and without a doubt they are) but the pressure on families (particularly poor families) to please the grooms family and marry their daughters off is so high that families often must save and use what they would spend in two or three years on a wedding. If they are unable to do this they run the risk of their daughter not marrying (which can cause being stigmatized and out casted from the community) or not being properly taken care of due to their inability to arrange for a successful, stable husband.

Another issue that is very prevalent in rural areas of India, particularly for young women is the family structure in regards to marriages and living in joint families where many generations of the male side of the family live together (father and his wife, son and his wife, grandson and his wife). Many young girls have their marriages arranged by their parents at the age of 17 or 18 and they get married off to practically a complete stranger. Through my observations I noticed that the most difficult part of this is not the marriage in and of itself but the fact that these very sheltered girls that have for the most part never been away from their family for a day having to move often times far from their own family and move in with their husbands family which often consists of 20-30 people. They are then thrown into a whole new family culture, hierarchy and set of unwritten rules which along with it comes many new roles that these young women must fulfill and adjust to. Although this living arrangement is normalized in Indian culture, emotionally it is still very difficult for these young women. Their involvement with the SHG (self-help groups) gives them a forum to discuss with other women who are experiencing the same transition or have experienced it in the past and sharing their hardships and how they have coped. Although the premise of the self-help groups is financial the women revealed that the group actually functions more as a support group were they discuss social issues and problems they are facing in addition to financial issues. The fact that the basis of the group is loans seems to actually help women to gain support from their husbands’ to participate and get involved; their spouses see how the loans will benefit their families but are not necessarily aware of all the other things the meetings entail. Though change is slow to come, these women are carefully navigating how to take a leadership role in their families and communities within the confines of rigid and somewhat oppressive gender roles in rural India.

Education
Another amazing and very hopeful trend present in the village is the education level of the new generation. Even in this small rural village that has little interaction with the world outside of their community, a majority of the families, even VERY poor ones have managed to send their children to college. It was so amazing to find out that many of the youth who are now pursuing higher education have parents with only a 4th or 5th grade education. Education, even in rural communities, is highly valued and families are willing to take loans and do whatever it takes to send their children to school. The son and daughter in the family I was staying with ride their bikes 6 kilometers each day and then take a bus for an hour to get to school and home. Little elementary school children in the surrounding villages walk 5 kilometers a day, often barefoot, to get to school and home-there are no school buses. Many women take loans from the SHG group in order to put their children through school. Some parents (such as the host family I was staying with) even delay their daughter’s marriage in order to allow them to complete their schooling. The educational achievement of their children is a very significant source of pride for families. This could quite possibly change the direction of the country, particularly rural areas as well as the present gender dynamics in the next few decades in India.

Religion
Through spending time with the family I stayed with in the village, I learned how much of their philosophies on life and their traditions are closely rooted in the Hindu religion. Religion, particularly Hinduism, is thought of so differently in India as compared to the U.S. It is seen more as a way of life and a set of guidelines on how to treat not only all other people but all living things including animals, the land etc.

Among the families in the village there is a mix of Muslim and Hindu families that have lived in the village for generations and although their children will not intermarry, from what I could tell and my conversations with people, they live harmoniously and consider each other as family. They come and go from each other’s houses and are involved in each other’s lives. All of the political issues that separate us in the west and even in more modernized cities in India was not present here. They are more cognizant of what connects them as opposed to the things that separate them. Although in India there is still religious conflict particularly in Northern cities, the foundation and history these families have together have allowed them to have mutual respect and love for each other and they consider their religion and spiritually as the basis of equality and befriending each other instead of a reason to put up walls and barriers between each other.

“Guests are God”

How do I even begin to describe the mix of emotions I have felt over the last few days? The experiences I have had have been so amazing and trying at the same time. With all the overwhelming emotions, the one thing I am certain of is that these experiences are irreplaceable and once in a lifetime.

Last week, I was told by my organization that I would be going to visit a rural village and will be staying there for a few days in order to become familiar with the issues in a rural community and how self help groups and microfinance loans are affecting the lives of woman. Initially I was really nervous about this; I had no idea about the conditions or what to expect and this coupled with not having any control is really difficult. To ease my nerves a little I arranged to go with another MSW student placed at the organization I am working and as a result of our shared experiences in the village we are now really close friends.

From the very beginning of our journey it was an adventure starting with the transportation. In order to get to the village we had to take a bus to a small town and then since the village I was going to was so rural, we had to take a small jeep and ride with many farm workers and laborers to the village called Pargoan. Once I arrived I realized that although it was only about an hour or so from the town I am based it, it was worlds apart. The climate was a bit colder and the landscape was all farmlands; lush green and vibrant as a result of the rains. When we finally reached the village we were told to go to the house of the SHG (Self-Help Groups) president.

Initially, I felt really awkward about just showing up at someone's house and staying with a family that I didn’t know and could not even communicate with. Despite my apprehensions, from the second I stepped into this family’s home, I was showered with so much kindness, hospitality and caring; I have never experienced anything like this in my life. It was truly so incredible that words do not do it justice but I will do my best to describe and capture some bits and pieces of my experiences and observations over the last few days.

From the moment I met my host family they continuously told me “in our culture guests are gods and with you being here it is like a god has entered our home.” Every time I would try to help with something they would swiftly say to me “Guests are god-now sit down.” They spent hours preparing special Maharashtran specialties each day for me, boiled water for my baths and most importantly treated me with such kindness and love. Every time I would say thank you to them they would tell me, “stop saying that, you are just like our own daughter.”

On my first night in the village, I was sitting with the family late at night after our dinner as the rain was pouring outside and we had no power, with the light of a lantern I was showing them pictures of my family and Seattle. As I was telling them about my family and life back home in broken Marathi and English, the family’s older daughter, Neelam, looked at me and said “We are from such different worlds and even though your world might be better…you still came to see ours and that makes me really happy.” Her expression of this was so touching to me because I thought to myself that although people in the village are somewhat isolated, at the same time they realize that there is a world that is VERY different from the reality they are living in. I think that is something we as westerners often fail to recognize. We get so caught up in our own world and daily things that we cannot even comprehend lifestyles that are so vastly different than ours. For Neelam, sharing her world with someone from the outside and seeing the things that I value and appreciate about their lifestyle, I could sense made her feel proud and excited to share. Being in the village, when I would think about my life at home it was such a weird paradox yet at the same time Neelam’s right, not only did I come to see them but I was privileged that they let me in enough not only physically into their home but emotionally into their family and their hearts to experience the warmth and love the share with each other.

Once I was done showing them the pictures we got ready for bed. At night we would lay down several blankets on the floor and all sleep all in a row (men separate from women) on the floor that is also the common kitchen, bedroom, eating area and sitting room. Half way through the night, I woke up to someone putting an extra blanket on me and I opened my eyes for a split second to see it was my host mom. I honestly cannot describe why but it was the most comforting feeling not only for the extra blankets but just the touch of someone caring enough to wake up in the middle of the night to tuck you in.

On my second night in the village, I was a bit nervous because my co-worker who was there with me up until that point was leaving and I would be in the village by myself. I was worried because of language barriers as well as being the only outsider in the village but again, my host family sensed my anxiety and did everything they possible could to put me at ease.
Since the moment I got there I was telling my host mom how much I love all the saris and how beautiful they are. To lift my spirits after my friend left, when we got back to the house she pulled out a suitcase full of saris and said you have to choose three to try on. Then in broken English and Marathi she told me she wants me to wear some different saris to take pictures with to send to my family back home. As she opened the suitcase all I could see was an array of beautiful, bright colorful saris. It was so interested that within the household, everything was VERY minimal and nothing was at all excessive yet my host mom, Savita Tai had over 60 saris-all perfectly and neatly folded and stored. The family explained to me that twice a year, on Diwali and a holiday similar to Valentines Day, brothers give their sister a gift of a new sari and that is how she ended up with so many saris. As I was sitting among this heap of beautiful fabric I was so overwhelmed and exited that I couldn’t decide on any (I was like a kid in a candy shop and I’m cual es mejor). Before I knew it, Savita tai had selected the three that she decided would look best on me and about 20 women from the surrounding houses around the village showed up at the home to help dress me up. I honestly don’t even know how this news traveled but the whole village knew about this. As one woman was wrapping me in amazingly beautiful colorful fabrics the others were dressing me with earnings, necklaces, bindis and pinning different things on me while giggling at the same time. My host mom is so tiny (either that or I have seriously gained some weight) that they had to unstitch the seam of the top part of the sari in order for it to fit me. I kept saying don't do this, it's too much trouble but they were insistent and said ‘no no assooneh!’ (it’s easy) One I was fully dressed, the women insisted that I go around and visit each house in the village to show them how much I look like ‘an Indian girl.’ Each person wanted to take a picture with me and was so excited that an ‘American’ was wearing Indian clothing.

This was such a unique experience and more than anything was SOOOO MUCH FUN!!! It’s so funny that when I first arrived in India, all I wanted to do was glamorous stuff like go to a Bollywood premier and parties. After this experience I realized that although I was in a rural village in a tiny room with no running water and electricity I have never felt so glamorous and special…so much more than a Bollywood premier. Sometimes things like this come to you when you least expect it!

Towards the end of my visit, my family had noticed that I was not drinking the water they offered and had my own bottled water. At first, I thought maybe they were insulted by this but then they told me that it’s better and I need to be careful with water so I don’t get sick. On the last day of my visit there I woke up in the morning to my host mom making chapatti, my dad sewing falls into the saris and their son, Kunal, ran through the door with a sealed bottle of water. I found out that they sent him a mile away on his bike to the closest store to buy me a bottle of water for the day. I honestly didn’t even know what to say and to offer to pay for it would completely degrade how kind it was of them to be so thoughtful as to think to go to a store just to buy me a bottle of water.

On the bus ride back to the town I live in, my host family arranged for me to go with somepeople in the village who were going the same direction so I would not have trouble getting back. Although I had just met them and they were doing me a few, they would not let me pay for a single dime of any of my bus fares. Although this is really not a lot of money in our eyes (maybe 60 cents), for them this is a lot of money and even with this, regardless of my insistence they would not let me pay and would say “you are a guest.”

Even since I have returned back to Rajgurunagar the family calls me every day, even with their VERY limited English to assure that I am ok. Honestly, no matter how hard I try to describe their kindness it is something that cannot be explained in words because so much of it was not actions or incidences but the feelings and emotions between people that supersede descriptions. I will be forever indebted to this family and the village for giving me one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had, teaching me so much about others and myself and giving me a refreshed perspective on life. They have touched my life in a way that I never imagined possible.

Some Questions Answered!!!

I am off to a village for a field visit that will last several days and am sure I will have a lot to write about once I get back. Until then, a friend emailed me and asked me some interesting questions and after I wrote back I realized that my answers really capture a lot of how I am feeling here and decided to post them. I will post again soon. THANK YOU all for your kind thoughts, emails and support. I really can't say how much it is appreciated!

What are you most appreciative for?
Most appreciative for the friends I have met here that give me so much joy, support and keep me from getting extremely homesick as well as give me an insight into the culture and the country of India that I could have experienced in any other way other then being in relation with the people here!

Is it less = more?
In some ways YES...I have come to see the excesses that we have in the U.S. and how very simple things like sitting in a circle singing songs or having a cup of chai at the corner vendor stand can be just as fun and fulfilling, if not more, as happy hours or shopping at the mall!

What emotion does the smell of the air evoke?
COMPLEXITY. That is the absolute best way I can describe it. With each step a different conflicting emotion is brought up. A sort of uneasy comfort. It feels so different yet at the same time very familiar. Some smells: Manure, rain, concrete, cows, pigs, incense, flowers, fresh fruits, cool breeze, garbage, urine, mildew, henna, Chai, gasoline exhaust-pleasant and disgusting at the same time!

How long can you go? how long can they go without....?
You realize that you can go without many things for long. Not to compare my discomfort to the suffering that many people here endure but I have realized the human spirit is so adaptable and all the things we think we NEED we can actually do without. But food...people cannot go without even here. People eat eat eat here...

How rough/smooth is the terrain?
The terrain varies vastly even within a 10-20 mile radius. The village I am in is very hilly and green now and has a river/damn. It is not very hot which is nice but I miss the sun sometimes.

Does it ever rain?
It rains A LOT and very hard. Sometimes drizzles sometimes downpours.They love the rains here because they know that without it, there would be a famine and then they would really go without! And they only have to deal with it 3 months out of the year. My view on rain has really changed since coming here because of how much it is celebrated!

India…the good, bad and everything in between

This weekend I went to Pune, the major city closest to the village I am in, and had a great time. I spent Saturday with my friends and we shopped around in a modern mall, went to lunch and did things I would do in the states which was a nice break from the village. I road rickshaws and motorbikes (mom don’t freak out) for the first time which turned out to be a great way to see the city which is so beautiful with lots of amazing trees that I have never seen anywhere else. While I was there I stayed with some family friends (Kiyan’s niece, nephew and their children) who were so kind and gracious and I had a wonderful time with them. It was so comforting and nice to feel I have a home away from home and the food was amazing. I honestly was so stuffed after I left that I could not eat for a full day.

Pune also shocked me a bit because of the dire poverty I saw there that I had been pretty unexposed to thus far in India. I had heard that Pune was the ‘Oxford’ of India so the poverty was a little unexpected. One of the most disturbing images that I cannot get out of my mind is I saw an old man on the street literally starving from hunger-he had no clothes on so I could see his ribs and bones protruding through his skin (sorry to be so graphic). The train stations are filled with people just camping out and living there. Seeing this I feel that although there is a lot of poverty in the villages and peoples’ living conditions are dilapidated and desperate, it is VERY different from the poverty in Pune and Mumbai. In the village you rarely see beggars and even given the poverty, there is a sense of community that you can feel. In Pune riding in a rickshaw at every stop a child on the street tries to sell you something.

Overall, I am still really enjoying my time here but I think the excitement of it all has calmed down a bit and the reality has started to settle in. Although there are so many joys I get everyday even from little small things such as seeing women carrying bricks on their head while working construction (yes women) and vendors selling exotic fresh fruit and vegetables on my walk to work, there are many daily things that are really hard and draining. You’re always dirty; even after you take a bath the second you walk outside your feet get muddy again. People honk constantly here and for no reason. We often don’t have electricity for several hours or days in a row and have no idea when it will return. In addition, the cultural differences are vast and I am constantly doing something “obscene” or not acceptable and I don’t even know it. For example, there is only certain jewelry and clothing you can wear here when you are married and others when you are unmarried. Yesterday the little drawstring from my pants was hanging a tiny bit below my shirt and someone told me it is really ‘obscene.’ At night I was cutting my nails and I was told it is ‘auspicious’ to cut your nails at night. Also, prior to coming here I didn’t realize or anticipate how conservative the culture is, especially in a village. Things that are totally normal to us like going out and having a drink are really taboo here particularly in Rajgurunagar whereas other things that we would never do, like throwing garbage out of the office window, is totally acceptable. Another huge difference is that personal space is not really respected here and people will pick up your stuff, read over your shoulder, come into your room when you are sleeping etc. Coming from the US where privacy is such a huge priority this kind of jolts you in a way. In addition, you can never really get a straight answer. People say they understand and know what you are talking about when they really don’t. For example when I was in Pune this weekend I had to go buy a camera (which was a whole fiasco in and of itself) and I got in three different rickshaws, asked them to take me to a particular place, I even wrote it down and showed it to them, and they each took me somewhere different. I was so frustrated by the end and it felt so vulnerable not have any control over where I was going and what was going to happen.

As I mentioned before, since being here, I have made many wonderful friends who have really taken me in and who I absolutely love. Last night one of my good friends invited us over since she moved into a new place (here is is customary when something new or good happens to give everyone a 'treat') and myself and 7 of my co-workers (all Indian) went there to have samosas and desserts (PS the bakeries are yummy here). After we ate the power went out (as it often does) so we lit candles and all sat in a circle on the floor and they sang Hindi Bollywood songs (well they sang, I listened). I even sang a song for them in Persian. It was so fun and nice; It made me feel like I have made some genuine friendships and am in a good place here yet at the same time there is still a disconnect because although I am included I still feel totally out of my element. I think the best way I can think of to describe it is being invisible yet completely exposed simultaneously. Like I will be sitting somewhere and people will be talking for hours and not even say a word to me yet they will stare and talk about me or I’ll have this strange feeling that I am on display (this is not at all in a bad way, people are just very curious about you but after a while it can feel like too much).

In light of these mixed experiences, I want to share two anecdotal stories that help reveal that with all the hard times, at the core of these experiences are these gems that I know I will always cherish about my journey:

THE BUS
On my way back home from Pune on Sunday, I had to take a bus which was complete chaos. The bus station was crazy and I was alone and could not figure out what bus to take; every person I talked to told me something different. There were no real answers, nothing written, and no bus schedules or numbers. At one point I just wanted to sit in the middle of the bus station and cry. All I wanted was to get back to my safe little village but I was unsure of how or even if this would happen. Right at that moment several people who spoke English came to my rescue and after about 20 minutes of running around, helped me get on the right bus. They were so kind and helpful and even gave me their phone numbers to call if I got lost or had trouble. That’s the thing I have realized about India, no matter how crazy and insane it is, you can always find someone who is genuinely willing to help you without even having to ask. Once I got on the bus, since I was the only foreigner and I was stressed, tired, alone and concerned about whether I would know my stop and also had several shopping bags with me, I had my guard up. This old woman sat next to me and kept staring at me and my stuff. Then she would turn to the people she was with and talk about me. I was so annoyed and just wanted to melt into the background. As the conductor came down the aisle I paid for my ticket and he did not have change but said he will bring my change back for me (less then 50 cents). 20 minutes later, the woman I was sitting next to turned to me and said something in Marathi. I only caught the word rupees and I assumed she was asking me for money. I just said no and turned around. Then she tracked down the conductor and started arguing with him. I was so confused and soon enough realized she was telling him that he owes me 20 rupees. Honestly, I was so preoccupied with getting home that I did not even remember. She handed me the money and then nudged me gently and said in Marathi “this is your stop.” Afterwards, I felt so bad that I had made these assumptions when all this woman wanted to do was help me. It taught me that even in the worse most stressful situations it is when you feel the most vulnerable that you are also the most touched by peoples' concern and kindness.

SHALWAR KAMEEZ
Yesterday I went to this little fabric store with one of my co-workers (so she could help me bargain) to buy a few more outfits (Shalwar Kameez). The storekeepers invited us in and I sat down among an array of beautiful bright fabrics with about 6 girls/woman from the shop all around me (see the picture I posted above). I picked some fabrics and one of the girls from the store accompanied me to the tailor to get the outfits stitched (which by the way costs $2 to have a top and pants stitched, tailored perfectly to your body). On our walk the young girl asked me many questions (translated by my co-worker) and insisted on having me over to her home for Maharashtran delicacies and to show me all around the village. Then she called her sister and mom to come meet us and they all insisted that we come to their home. I turned to my co-worker and in English asked “is this safe to just go to a stranger’s house?” And she replied that the culture here is all about opening your home to people, particularly guests and this is the only real way I will see the people. We accepted her invitation and once again, this showed me that although there is so much that is challenging about life here on a daily basis, people really value closeness and the importance of relationships-this quality in people is so palpable.

Before I came here someone told me that India totally opens you up to yourself in way that you can never imagine.... I had no idea what this meant until now!

Rajgurunagar

***BTW, please note that I posted TWO write ups today (this one and another one below). They are both from last week-this is just the first time I have had access to internet.

It is so hard to believe that I haven’t even been here for a full week yet. It honestly seems like I have been here forever and there is so much I want to convey about my experiences and how I am feeling.

Everyday I am stunned by the vibrant colors that bring India to life. I have noticed this especially in the clothing of the woman. The fabrics and textiles of the saris are so beautiful, detailed and bright even in everyday wear and I still stare incessantly at the woman. I love that the woman are not afraid of color here…it makes things so much more interesting! Maybe one day soon I will be brave enough to attempt wrapping and wearing a sari!

As far as the landscape, it is lush and picturesque as it sits on this river/dam which women go to wash their clothes and men to fish. Behind the river are these amazing hillsides that you can hike up and have a view of the whole village and all the crops from the top. I know many of you won’t believe this but I actually got up at 5:30 am this morning to go on a hike with some of my new friends. Since I am still jet lagged I have been waking up at this time every morning anyway but I am sure this trend won’t last for long. The whole village of Rajgurunagar is walkable and monsoon season is actually a wonderfully pleasant time to be here since it is not too hot or too cold (around 75 degrees on average). So the thing about the village and I think India in general that is really hard to reconcile at times is the many paradoxes that exist everywhere.
Everything about this country is so complex and you can see the most beautiful and horrible scene all in the same instance. Although the village is so beautiful and quaint at the same time, on my way to the river I pass five dirty pigs sleeping in a heap of smelly garbage. I read somewhere that India is a land of contradictions and in order to truly enjoy and understand this country, you have to learn to not see things in black and white and be comfortable with the grey. I think this has and will be an extremely valuable lesson for me.

On that note, one thing I have thought about a lot is how interesting perspective is and how adaptable we can be when we give ourselves the chance. Now that I have been here a few days I love the house I am living in and feel that my living conditions are really luxurious and nice and truthfully they are. The house is really beautiful and I just needed some time to adapt to a different way of life.

Another in a sense odd luxury of India is that each house and office has at least one domestic worker that pretty much runs the place and takes care of things. This was a little uncomfortable for me initially, having an elder woman bring me a cup of tea on a tray several times a day while I am at work but now it has become so normal that I don’t even think twice about it-I am still conflicted about whether or not this is a good or bad thing, or both or neither (the grey). Although I am still just taking everything in and my perspective could change, I think the reason why it doesn’t make me as uncomfortable as it usually would is that although these women are domestic workers, they are still respected and seen as part of the staff and team as opposed to being brushed off. I am aware that these are just my initial impressions and what I see on the surface which could most definitely change as I get to see the intricacies of the caste and class system in India, which by the way is still VERY prevalent.

Tomorrow I am off to Pune for the weekend. It is so exiting to think that this is just the beginning and I have still have so many more experiences ahead of me! Thanks for sifting through all of my crazy thoughts and bearing with me through these posts. Your comments, e-mails and feedback are always deeply appreciated. Missing you all!

New Friends

I think today for the first time I am starting to feel really adjusted and like myself which partly has to do with the fact that I have made some really good friends who I am comfortable with and who I can just laugh and have fun with.

Honestly, since Tuesday the days have flown by and I feel like every minute of my day is filled which is really nice. The feeling of loneliness has definitely subsided and actually I rarely have time to be alone. Right now the guest house I am staying in is filled with visitors, mostly students and researchers from around India who I have become good friends with. Although initially many of the people I meet, especially Indians and locals, seem standoffish and intimidating but I have realized that once they get to know you they are the most warm, loving and really FUN people ! They love to crack jokes and gently tease you and I am often the one being teased.

Although in other contexts this has really bothered me, for some reason here I really don’t mind and have learned to laugh at myself as well. Today, I got lost AGAIN and a group of people I work with basically watched me walk around in a big circle totally confused and although I felt embarrassed, I just made a joke and laughed about it which I think they also find endearing. The things they find the most funny are things that are common sense to them that I just don’t get. They all try to help me out but I think they find it quite amusing at the same time. Overall, this experience has really helped me to not take myself so seriously and be more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I don’t know if this is openness when you are traveling, living together or the culture of India but I am amazed at how close I feel to people after just a few days of knowing them. Although for the most part I still very much feel like an outsider the few people I have connected with I feel really close to. I am also constantly impressed by people’s intelligence. Everyone from the people in the village to professors to students are so smart, hardworking and innovative. For example I became good friends with a girl who is staying in my guest house who is 26, completed her MSW and is now finishing her PhD in Disaster Preparedness while working full time (BTW here full time is Mon-Sat so 48 hours a week). The amazing thing about her is she is not only extremely intelligent, a humanitarian and passionate about social justice, but she is also fun, witty and humble which I really appreciate.

Today I went back to the village with the whole research team and met with the group of woman again. I have attached a few pictures but let me know if you are interested in seeing more and I can e-mail you the link. Once again, I was totally blown away by the woman’s strength and motivation to improve their current circumstances and rise out of poverty as well as their openness, warmth and hospitality. The feeling and aura of being in a village is truly indescribable and one I hope I will get to experience many times on this trip!

My first visit to a rural village

It’s so hard to put into words what I am feeling and my mind is constantly racing with things I want to share and reflect on so I apologize in advance if these posts seem scattered and gets longwinded. Skip whatever is not interesting to you!

Yesterday, when I first arrived at the village I was sad and a part of me just wanted to quit and come home. I was feeling really lonely and isolated and initially the living conditions, particularly compared to my life in the US was quite a shock. The thought of having to live like that for another 3 months was so overwhelming. But I got myself together, indulged and watched a little Sex and the City on my laptop (which as many of you know, always helps) and woke up to a new day.
Today was my first official day of work and it was amazing! I felt so much better coming to work and knowing I have something to do and everyone in the office I work is so nice and friendly. I think simply being around people, even if I don’t understand 80% of what is being said is really nice.

I was lucky enough to start during a week in which a team of researchers from another state in India are at the organization conducting research on aging issues in rural villages that utilize and have benefitted from self-help groups and microfinance. The particular issue they were interested in exploring was the potential to introduce micropension for women in these communities through in-depth interviews and focus groups (BTW, for those of you who I took research with, I realized how much I learned and how important basic research principals are).

To set the foundation for the focus group research tomorrow four of us went to the village today which was my first field visit. This visit has been the hands down most amazing part of my time in India so far. We met two woman who are the prominent leaders of the self-help groups in the village and have created interventions for many of the social problems in the village and also started the microfinance program along with Chaitanya (the org I am working for) and have benefitted greatly from this. Although I could not understand exactly what was being said during much of our visit, seeing the enthusiasm the woman in the village had about their role in the community and their accomplishments and the way in which they passionately described their experiences made my eyes well with tears. I felt so extremely lucky and fortunate to have the opportunity to experience something like this. In this village one observation I made is that elders were so highly regarded and respected. In the US I think we often discount elders and see them as a burden but these women basically run this whole village and are given so much respect for their contributions and in turn, they embody such a strong sense of pride and empowerment. It was really amazing to see.

An aspect of the self-help model that I am really interested in exploring through my project is a concept called Jankars who are basically either government, legal, social or financial literacy advocates within a rural village. These individuals are trained by the organization I work with to be experts in one of the 4 areas who then help those experiencing problems of that nature within the village. For example, I read a story about a women being burned by her husband and the village level legal jankar helped this woman file a complaint against her husband and get her medical bills and medication paid for by her husband’s family. I think I was particularly amazed by this concept because it is such an innovative yet practical way to tackle social problems within a community as opposed to traditional social work interventions in the U.S

In addition to this work, the women in this village also started about 10 years ago with each saving 1 rupee a week and as their saving grew they were able to use this to get collateral from the bank for a loan. Along with expanding their agriculture, they also used this loan to start a new business in which they sculpt and paint statues of the Hindu god Ganesh and then sell these for the upcoming Ganesh festival and parade in late August which originated in Pune the city close to the village I am staying in.

During our visit, I also had the opportunity to hang out with some toddlers and young children at a small school (which was more like an open air concrete room). They were so beautiful and full of life and I would take pictures of them and then show them and each time they saw their pictures they would squeal with laughter. Although it’s hard to really know, these children seemed so content, cared for and loved and appeared to have such a song sense of community as they related closely to all people in the village.

Knock on wood…so far I have not gotten sick which I think is partly due to the fact that all our meals are vegetarian and I have not eaten out since I have been here. I am kind of on carb load but its better then getting sick. Also, hunger is definitely not an issue. I don’t think I have ever been so well fed in my life. We have three big meals a day and everywhere we go people want to give you either a treat (bananas, peanuts, biscuits) or chai to welcome you. People are so hospitable here. Like just right now as I am sitting here typing and the caretaker of our office who we call Moshee (meaning auntie) gave me a piece of raw coconut while I still have a cup full of chai in front of me. This is after I had breakfast less than 1 hour ago!

For our meals we go to an area they call “the mess” which is basically a concrete room with a kitchen in the back and the other interns and staff at Chaitanya all go there and eat together while sitting on the floor. Another huge cultural difference is silverware is not used and all food included rice is eaten with your hands. At first this was really odd for me but after few times I got the hang of it and now even the Indians are impressed with how comfortably I eat with my hands. Some other cultural differences that have taken me a while to get use to are here shaking your head no actually means yes. This really confused me at first and still trips me up. I find myself confirming that they actually mean yes several times and I think Indians find it weird that I do so. Also, every time we enter a house room office etc. we take our shoes off at the door before going in and walk barefoot (Haleh you would hate this). Even at the office everyone is barefoot all day. I am not sure of the exact origin of this but I think it has something to do with respect in Hinduism.

As far as language goes, I find it really hard and I am already overwhelmed so retaining the words I learn is difficult. I even have trouble remembering people’s names which I am usually good at. Also there are so many different languages spoken here even just within the organization I work for. Local people speak Marathi, the staff from Mumbai speaks Hindi, the research staff speaks Guajarati, others speak Bengali and the villagers speak Marathi but the village dialect.
As far as my status as a foreigner, although people can tell I am not from here, I don’t get as many stares as expected because in the village most people think I am just an Indian from Mumbai or another part of India especially when I dress in Indian clothing. This helps me to fit in a little better and avoid the stares as long as I stop getting lost and looking around like I have no idea where I am going (which happens frequently).

In other news, I took my first bucket bath today! Yes, me who spends 30 minutes in the shower washed and conditioned my hair with 1 bucket of water. Although I am sure I committed some major bucket bathing feux paus, it definitely was not as bad as I anticipated. If I can do it anyone can. More to come…

My first days in India

I can't believe it's only been 2 days that I have been in India. It already seems like forever!!! It's hard to sum up the rollercoaster of emotions that I have been on over the past few days so I'll start from the beginning.

My flight went well. I flew into NYC and oddly enough had a spectacular view of the city and Columbia University on my way in. For so long I had ruminated over my decision of going to UW as opposed to Columbia and I guess for the first time, on my way to India, I realized that I had truly made the right choice. I also read through my India travel book which made me more excited for the trip. The flight from NYC to Mumbai was long but relatively comfortable. I watched Ghandi and some Bollywood movies as well as He's Just Not That Into You (has anyone seen it? Couldn't figure out if I liked it or not)!

Once I arrived in Mumbai it was a bit of a fiasco. The airport was crazy and once I got out of the terminal I could not find the person who was supposed to pick me up among the HUGE crowd waiting outside with signs. I had a brief moment of panic and then I pulled it together, found a phone and finally, after about 45 minutes found the right person who took me in a taxi to the Mumbai guest house. I guess this initial experience is on par with how India operates in general :)

My first exposure to Mumbai was exactly what you would imagine...crazy, random, chaotic and full of life!!!! On the way we drove through slums, saw cows on the side of the road, barefoot children, stores open at 11 pm and much more. The accommodations in Mumbai were comfortable. Nothing fancy but comfortable and I met three other interns, two from the US and one from Tokyo. My program coordinator let me know I would be spending the next day in Mumbai in which I would need to prepare for the rural location I would be going to on Tuesday.

Monday morning I woke up to a rain storm. It is monsoon season here so it rains hard everyday but it is still warm. The organization I went through has a internship program focused around film making and Bollywood. I had the opportunity to sit in and learn about this program and have to admit was a bit jealous of the stuff they get to do. Watch movies, meet with actors and directors, visit Bollywood sets etc. I was invited to a film premier in which I was really excited to attend but when I asked if I could push back my internship start date it was not a possibility. So sadly enough, I will miss the film premier but hopefully there will be other opportunities.

One of the highlights of the trip has been shopping in the market. Our housekeeper in mumbai who is from Southern India took myself and the other girl from Tokyo shopping for Indian outfits called, shalwar Kameez. I bought two outfits with matching bangles, scarves and waterproof sandals for pretty cheap. The best part was that the store keepers take your measurements right in the store and within minutes tailor the outfits to fit your body perfectly at no extra charge. It was also great to be with a local to help us navigate the shops and bargaining. I don't think we could have done it on our own. Even in Mumbai I found a lot of people don't speak English. I wish I had more time to explore mumbai but I hope to return for a visit at some point soon to do the more touristy stuff.

Today I left mumbai and took a three our drive out to the village in which I will be working. The drive was absolutely beautiful as I got to see more of Mumbai as well as the countryside of the Maharashtra state including a charming little town called Lonavla which I want to go back and visit as well. Everything was so lush and green which I think is in part due to the monsoons. When I arrived in Rajgurunagar (the village I am in now) I went and met with the organization i will be working at called Chaitanya. The village is really small and quaint with NO foreigners (people stare at me incessantly). I honestly cannot even describe in words the feeling of this town. Animals roam the streets. Men ride around on motorcycles with women with saris on the back. I am really excited about my work with the organization as well. I will start with site visits tomorrow. The goal of Chaitanya is to build empowerment through woman's self help groups. The government of India passed a law a few years ago indicating that if a group of 20 woman gather together then they are automatically eligible for a loan regardless of whether or not they have credit. This policy then gave way to Chaitanya to build a base for bringing rural poor women together to apply for these loans and then make their small businesses sustainable. The whole philosophy behind this is empowerment and community organizing and building which is really my passion. As far as work goes, I feel I am in the right place. I still have so much more to learn but am really excited about learning from both the rural woman and the amazing and intelligent woman who run the organization

On the down side, my brand new camera that I bought right before coming to India malfunctioned and I am really disappointed about that. Also, while I am really excited to be here, it is hard and I feel somewhat isolated. I am hoping this feeling will subside over time and as I get to know people and the village better. The director from my program was really helpful and patient in orienting me and I almost begged her not to leave but I didn't...I am sure I will manage. It just takes a little getting use to. Anyway, I apologize for the long and scattered post. I hope you guys enjoy this and are not bored to death!!! I will try to post the few pictures I was able to take within the next few days!